After countless warnings from the nurses about my fluid intake (read : ice-cold water) and spending about 3 to 4 months at the top of the heaviest patients list, I've finally decided to get serious with myself and not take my good health for granted.
You see, dialysis patients like myself can't afford to keep extracting 4 kilos every time we dialyse. It will weaken our hearts because our hearts have to work harder, the more fluid is extracted from us. In most dialysis centers, the maximum that can be extracted is 4 kilos. So, yes, I'm a very naughty girl!
I used to be a good patient, I would only gain 2 plus or 3 plus kilos every time. I don't know what's got into me, I guess I was thinking : "What the heck! Everyone dies sooner or later, I might as well have a good time drinking ice-cold drinks in this hot climate!". Which is of course, very wrong and foolhardy of me.
I guess that after being on dialysis for 6 years, I'm beginning to get a little over-confident of my seeming good health and problem-free heart and also I might be having a death wish because I'm a little sick of being a dialysis patient. Imagine being stuck to a machine for 4 hours 3 time a week with one of my hands immobile (the hand where the dialysis access is, the hand that connects me to the dialysis machine).
True, I've finished many good books (my own and the library's) during dialysis treatments but I keep thinking, there has got to be more to life then this! I mean, I can't even get a regular job like a regular person because which boss likes it if his/her employee has to get off work early 3 times a week?! I'm still looking though........I'm sure somehow somewhere I'll find a good job that will take into account my limitations as well as my talents and qualifications.
In the mean time, I just have to keep applying, praying, hoping and keep a positive and hopeful attitude. And most importantly, if I want to live longer, to control my fluid intake...............
Sunday, January 16, 2011
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